Are you allowed to have quarter-life crises when you’re 30? What do we call it then? I’m really starting to get tired of these things. I’m getting old and I really just want to not give a fudge and just do what I want to do. That sounds nice right? Even as I’m typing this now, I’m like wait, maybe I shouldn’t have used the f-word (I edited it to fudge). But why do I even care? This is my space and this my time to let it all out.
I think the reason art, whether it be visual or motion picture, music or whatever, makes sense to me is because as you get older you start to feel like you need to be the best version of yourself. The most composed and balanced version of yourself. But the last few weeks I feel like I’m completely become unhinged and really, not for any single reason. It’s just a lot of little reasons. I’m constantly battling with myself in my head. And listening to the right song or watching the right movie is the only thing that makes me feel at ease or allows me to make sense of what’s going on in my head and heart.
Wish there was something interesting for me to say about this outfit… but there isn’t. It’s simply a classic pairing for me – off the shoulder top and a pencil skirt. People know me for loving jumpsuits and pencil skirts. Can you blame me?
Two things you may or may not know about me: 1. I’m not a “just a white tee” kind of girl and 2. I’m self conscious about my arms. Yes you may think I’m being ridiculous but I feel the way I feel and we all have our things that we can’t let go of. Cut to this top I just bought – it defied those two things and I bought it because I couldn’t get it out of my head.
I’ve worn it three times in the last three days and I have a feeling I will wear it until there’s holes in it. The feminine ruffle sleeve highlights my arms in a way that I somehow don’t hate. It’s the perfect proportion for my almost-petite frame. Not to mention, it allows me to wear just a white tee while still looking put together.
Art has helped me figure out who I am.
Is there something you’ve loved your entire life? That sounds like a big question because it is. Human nature and survival instinct demands that our personality and sense of self evolves with the world around us. However out of all the phases I’ve gone through, one thing I know that has always been true about me is that I love art. I love recreating, creating, and everything around and in-between. In elementary school, that looked like drawing an underwater landscape that got proudly displayed in the hallways. In adulthood it looks like… well, this. Out of all the words people have used to describe me, the only one that has always felt right has been “artist”. My relationship to this identifier continues to grow stronger with every stage in my life and it’s where I go when I lose my sense of self in other pursuits whether academic or professional. I come back to this word because I know it and I live it. I know who I am as an artist and it is exactly who I am as a person – complex, emotional, meticulous, compassionate, beautiful, and always yearning for connection.
Art has given me the tools to manage my emotions and learn how to communicate.
Maybe all of us go through this, but I think when I was younger I was often overwhelmed by my emotions. I don’t think it’s in the parent handbook to teach your child how to manage anger, sadness, grief, or envy. And when you’re a naturally shy and introverted child, these emotions can really wreak some havoc on your heart especially when you hit puberty. When I read my old livejournal blog posts, they’re like… insanely depressing. Like ridiculously melodramatic. But that was my reality! That’s really how I felt in that moment back in the day. This is when I truly found sanctuary and solace in art. My art teachers were sort of like second mothers to me, teaching me how to express myself effectively and manifest my energy into something worth sharing.
Yes, as in Jenny from the block. Why? Because this jumpsuit feels part Destiny’s Child Survivor and part JLo. And I’m all parts excited about it. I really hope I can continue to rock jumpsuits into my 40s because within the next 5 years, I might have every shade under the sun.
Before I start talking about this outfit, I’m gonna say that blogging is real hard. Trying to post blogs while also trying to make artwork and have a full time job and be a functioning human being is definitely difficult. Nevertheless, I have decided to never guilt myself into doing anything I don’t want to do. If I can make art, I will make art. If I have something to blog about, I will blog about it. If I love an outfit, I will share it. But I won’t succumb to self-inflicted shame or disappointment in not being more active than I already am. More on this topic to come (if I feel like it).
There are not many trends I have not tried in the dressing room. Usually I can make something work but there are certainly plenty of things I know do NOT work on me. Though I have a fairly even body shape, I get real self conscious on how my legs look so most of the things that I know don’t work on me are because they highlight my legs. For instance: white jeans, mini skirts, overalls, lace up heels, over the knee boots… all are items my body does not love. OR it could be that I’ve just never found the right fit. Case in point, the chino. I’ve never loved a chino pant but this year I found one that actually works and doesn’t make me look like a middle-aged mom.
Thanks to Anthro, I try on chinos every single year they come out. And every year in the past, I was disappointed and proven right that chinos were not my thing. That was then and this is now.
Well.. it happened. I bought my first jumpsuit of the year and we’re only a month in! But really, I just couldn’t help myself. Because I own so many jumpsuits, when I try a new one on it needs to check all my boxes. This one does.
First off, comfort. This loose fitting style is basically a sack with a tie to define the waist so it feels like I am wearing PJs. This also makes for an easy fit; I’m 5’4″ and I often have to get petite sizes for the just-right cut. But this I was able to get a standard and still have a little ankle showing.
Have you heard of fika? Fika is a concept in Swedish culture with the basic meaning “to have coffee” and I read a little more about its cultural significance in a lovely book one morning at Brash.
“Fika demands that we create space in our lives for a break. It discourages getting a cup of coffee to go and drinking it in solitude in front of a computer. Fika is about slowing down, getting together with friends, and spending a moment completely present in the company at hand. As any Swede will tell you, life without fika is unthinkable.”
Describe your style.
I’m often told I dress like Annie Hall, and I guess I’m cool with that (although I don’t think I’ve ever worn a vest with necktie). I like modern, structured silhouettes and tend to stray away from prints unless it’s a stripe or a polka dot. Maybe that would make me “preppy”? I wear whatever makes me feel good!
Do you have any style icons?
Not really…is that weird? I admire people who dress for themselves and are confident in doing so.
Sitting down to write this, I realized the for all the art I’ve taken in over the course of my life… I still feel challenged when expressing my thoughts or feelings about it. Food is easy, style is logical, but art – perhaps because it’s what I feel most deeply about – doesn’t translate to words. So while I’d love to say to you that I can help you navigate the arts scene in Atlanta, it’s probably the last thing I’d be able to help you with.
It took me way too long to find the time to take the drive to see Howard Finster’s Paradise Garden. And of course I ended up forgetting my real camera, so please enjoy these photos from my crappy old phone (lost my iPhone recently). It’s the best I could do, but really nothing can do this justice. Or really, any art justice.
Art HAS to be experienced in real life. Digital reproduction will never be the same as seeing something in front of you.