Right now I’m going through somewhat of a tough time. The instability that surrounds me feels like it will close in at any moment and I’ll crumble right along with it. And so in an attempt to try to be my own happiness, to be my own best friend, I am going to write a letter to myself (and hopefully it’ll resonate with you too).
You’re turning 26 soon and let me tell you: you are exactly where you are supposed to be. It may seem like everything’s been for naught, like everything feels like a waste of time. But I promise you that it is not. I promise you that you are going to make a difference to someone, somewhere… and soon. The things you create and the ways you love are limitless and there is no reason to keep that from the world. Please stop thinking that you are not enough. Because you so ARE. If anyone in this world is enough, it’s you. Everywhere you go, you leave a mark and that is part of your drawing too.
You are trying to re-craft the world around you and of course it’s not easy. It never will be easy. But you have the good sense to keep trying because it is completely worth the effort. Things may get worse before they get better and I know how much you hate to feel like you failed. But see, the thing is… you haven’t. You never could. That is what breaks my heart. You talk yourself into believing you’ve failed before you’ve even begun, and you really deserve so much better.
I want you to keep going. All those sentences that begin with “if only I could..” are not just daydreams; they are goals. Recognize that they can actually be yours if you allow them to feel real. You are your number one priority right now and that is completely okay. Yes, you need money to live. Yes, there are lots of steps you haven’t traveled yet. But why even rush them? Each step is just as important as the one before it and the only way you can move forward is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just don’t stop. Whatever you do, please do not stop. If you let your dreams die, then the light within you will begin to dim and you’ll end up right back where you were.
Everything you’re doing may seem insignificant on its own, but don’t lose sight of the bigger picture. All the small things, the tiny drawings, the little marks… they all count. They will amount to something really big someday. It may not be this year or the next or even the next. But perhaps maybe the longer it takes, the greater it’ll turn out in the end. Either way, you owe it to yourself to try and try again. I love you with all of my heart and I want nothing more than for you to live up to the potential everyone sees in you. So just let it happen.
You wouldn’t believe how difficult it was to get those words out. Trying to see myself in the same light that others do is damn near impossible. But I think in the struggle of learning how to love ourselves, this is absolutely necessary.
Pretend you are your best friend and write yourself a letter. What would you write? What do you think you need to hear?
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