I might be exaggerating, but the last few days I’ve really felt exactly how I felt about five years ago. So aptly named, the “quarter-life crisis” is something that us milennials know a thing or two about. I thought that it was behind me, but here I am feeling it all over again. How come no one tells you that this never stops happening? Maybe it does, but we just get numb to the feeling of it. Wish I could say I was.
I’m about to turn 30 next week and I sure as hell don’t feel like it. Have you ever had to answer that ice-breaker question – “if you could be any age, what age would you choose to be?” I have always answered 32. In my mind, this was the age, that magical age where things felt just right. You know what works but there is still so much life ahead of you that you are still driven and excited. I’m getting closer and closer to my “ideal age” and getting scared that I just won’t feel that ideal.
In the last five years, I’ve tried so many things and traveled down a lot of little winding paths. I learned so much about my boundaries and my priorities – I do feel like I’ve grown up and yet still, I feel very insecure about my future. I’m just not sure where to go next because I am so deeply aware of the potential I’ve yet to realize. Sometimes it can be paralyzing; knowing that you can be so much more and it’s right there for you to grab it if you’re brave enough. If you’re focused enough.
There’s no answer and I know that. I just have to work through it, continue living in the moment, and my life will go where it’s supposed to go.