When you’re working a full-time retail management job and trying to sustain creativity in your free time, it can be difficult to stop and smell the roses. It can be difficult to do anything in your off time besides lay on the couch like a petrified mummy. Not too long ago, I had all the time in the world to do exactly that – to contemplate, to plan, to nurture my studio practice. But I didn’t. I dragged my feet, knowing that there was always a tomorrow to continue working on my checklist. And I ended up never finishing, never starting anything really. I was treading water.
It was inevitable that I’d have to return to full-time work. I mean, the drawing thing just wasn’t happening (well, I wasn’t making it happen) and a girl has got to eat and support her caffeine slash shopping addiction. So here I am, struggling to keep up the energy to be positive and motivational for my team at work and baffled as to how I’m going to manage keeping up the pace in my independent pursuits. With the holidays here and in my face, all I want to do is eat and be merry. Can you blame me? I don’t want to keep holing myself up in my house, with my little paints, trying to produce pretty on paper (or bags). But if I stop now, then what? What comes next?
In times of stress or confusion, I force myself to come back here. I remind myself that this space, albeit public, is also safe. If I don’t record these feelings, these times of uncertainty, then they could easily disappear and I will forget what it took to get where I want to be. If nothing else, I want this place to remain an honest and true reflection of what’s happening to me and my work. Yes, it’s been really self-promotional lately, but that’s why I’m writing this right now. So you know that I’m still real, there are still thoughts, a real person behind here, trying to figure it all out. I’m still not 100% sure if I know where I want to end up. There are so many little things and side projects I want to be doing.
For my own sanity, I’m going to start drafting a list of goals for 2015. Maybe that’ll help me mentally sort through all the crap. By the end of this month this will be finished, clear, and concise. Here goes nothing –
– Create a full pattern collection, with the help of everything I’ve learned from Jessica Swift’s Pattern Camp
– Collaborate with Katherine, to put together a gallery show. Aim for summer or fall?
– Organize and clean out my studio and figure out a storage cabinet for my drawings
– Decide what forms my work will transform into next. Is it merely textiles? Is it stationary and phone cases? What is it?
– Redesign the blog
– Blog more, with more artist interviews and ladycrush style posts
– Take more time to travel and see friends near and far
That seems like enough for now. Time for me to get ready to head off to work! Til next time. <3
[ image via pinterest ]