I sat down this morning knowing that I wanted to write a blog post, but I wasn’t quite sure what the topic would be. I think that pretty much sums up my entire life – that I’m never really functioning under a single purpose, but rather, many at any given time. This time last year I was excited by the thought that I could use holiday markets as a way to figure out my ultimate goal, figure out how I was going to make my design creations an independent business. In my head I was thinking that I would finally receive THE answer – and that the year following would be THE year it all happens.
This holiday season, I feel very differently. I’m not quite sure when my perspective shifted or what caused it, but I think I’m starting to realize that putting all my eggs into one basket is never going to be the end goal for me. Sure, if I ended up just designing products and painting all day every day, I would definitely be a happy camper. But this is the year that I’ve begun to realize what I would lose if I made that become my whole world.
I’ve spent the last three years working at Anthropologie and it was only over the course of the last six months that I’ve really begun to understand how much it means to me. Working with people – working on a team, mentoring other leaders, and connecting deeply with customers… it’s become so clear to me that I thrive on these relationships. These connections are everything to me and to now imagine losing them to focus on my own practice feels… very difficult.
That’s not to say I want to give up my art practice or making prints or writing in this blog. Those things mean just as much to me. I think what I’m trying to say here is that while I am often exhausted and don’t know what to do next, this is the only way I know how to feel fulfilled right now. Will that change in another six months?.. Maybe. Do I know what the future holds for any of the things I’m doing?… Not really. Do I love what I do?… Definitely.
A single job title cannot define me. I am the sum of all the things I do: leader, artist, blogger, stylist, photographer, mentor, social networker, craft maker, foodie, atlanta lover. I don’t think I could ever just pick one.